


The Desire

by HelenofTroy



Category: Frontier (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 15:59:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12172146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenofTroy/pseuds/HelenofTroy
Summary: Delving into the past of Declan Harp I had a new feeling about his relationship with Grace Emberly several years ago, i thought this  after seeing their scene in the episode 1X02 when she grabs his hand and holds it saying "Declan" while he, uncomfortably, withdraws it. As if it were a kind of sacrilege, taboo.Then i understood how with all possibility Declan was unfaithful to his wife being alive with Grace, that is why he now blames himself for the death of his wife too much and looks so obsessed (one between several reasons of course)  and it is so hard work for him to curb Grace's romantic advances. Because he desires her yet.(.) The name of Aiyana is absolutelly fictional. Is a name chosen for me for its meaning.After all, the desire blinds anyone. No one is free, fiction or non-fiction. Like the song says is a wicked game.The story is settled while the Declan´s wife, Aiyana, was alive.





	The Desire

-What's the matter with you, Declan, you can not sleep?  
-No, Aiyana, I can not," Declan said to his wife without turning to look at her as the moon's rays entered his tent.

But he did look back at his three-year-old son. He had inherited his black curls, but he was more handsome than himself. His son had the thin face of his mother. From Aiyana, Benton's bastard daughter.

This had been the greatest secret of his life, of his wife.  
Declan could never have guessed how the man who sponsored his wife in a sign of respect on his wedding day could be his father. Benton used to do it with all his workers. And much more he´d do it for Declan, who was in his own words like "my brother, Declan".  
Benton was gentle with Declan in his wedding day, but not with his wife. 

For Benton's eyes whenever they settled on Declan's wife were pure hatred, a real scorn. Now that Aiyana had explained it to Declan, he understood it perfectly: Benton, like everyone in his class, was disgusted and ashamed to have mixed his blood with those of his people.  
With the natives. The true possessors of those lands taken by the white people, the disciples of the Great Spirit of the Forest, the lucky ones, the masters of the animals skins.

The Aiyana´s mother had died since long time ago. The same Benton had been there when she died. Surely he had killed her, in an attempt to avoid the inevitable confrontation with his daughter. Declan knew of what Benton was calpable of. 

He used to kill when the situation was not good for him. But Declan was too much happy as if to question Benton's methods. He was a kind leader for him and his people for that moment. And like his wife was harmless, Benton never would get up a finger against her.  
His son was the Benton´s grandson, after all. 

Declan got up , put on his pants.  
-Do not worry, go back to sleep- he said quietly-I'll be back before dawn.  
-Where are you going?- Aiyana asked once more. Her black hair had grown, and her breats trembled in the gloom.  
Declan looked at her carefully, but he left, taking his shotgun without saying anything else.  
He could not help it, no one could ever do it.

The faint fire outside had died down when Declan stepped with his thick leather boots the stones next to the bonfire. Declan covered himself with the brown skin his wife had prepared the night before and took the white buffalo as well, pulling the strings firmly.

He had seen a white male buffalo four days ago, and now the white men would pay any amount for it. White buffaloes had never been seen in that land. Killing him for Declan was like asking him to rip his heart out. The Great Spirit said to him that would have bad luck if he´d even dare to threaten the great white Buffalo. But now he was husband and father and when he thought of the money he could get he did not hesitate. He he pulled the trigger and the animal fell dead.

Declan's footsteps were lost in the mountain. He tried to erase the tracks after going through the skirt.  
He knew very well the cunning of his wife. She could not know where he was going, because it would break her heart. Why did he do this?

"Why am i doing this"?-he repeated himself over and over, his hands on his temples, which burned more and more as he reached the village.  
The door to Grace's house was open, as usual.  
Declan stood in front of the door, doing nothing. Something inside him prevented him from crossing that entrance with the valuable white skins as well.  
But his blood pushed him, gushing from his head to his hands.  
Declan touched his black hair, soaked with sweat, and his beard. It had it long, as she liked it. 

 

He knew that what he was doing was not right, that his wife did not deserve this.  
But he could only be with Grace. He had to be with her now. His wife had nothing to do with this.  
Ever since he'd seen Grace through Benton's rainy window, he'd known. He had known they would be lovers, it was only a matter of time.

Declan did not love Grace, but he wanted her. And he knew it, so badly that was insulting. 

Once a week he crossed the frozen forest under the pretext of the skins to empty into his belly, to kiss his white skin and scratch his neck. He was not better than Benton, sleeping with with women who were not of his social class, of his race. 

Declan looked the half-built tavern that Grace was doing. She had chosen a trade of men, and she was delicate, of small build and size, not made for that job. Declan had told him a million times.  
But Grace was decided, and her business were not his concern. 

Declan hurried up the stairs. 

-Grace-he whispered in the darkness. 

With the door ajar, Declan could hear Grace's murmur.  
-Yes, come in.  
A small candle trembled at the desk.

Declan stepped into the room and closed the door softly.  
-Grace, why do you have so little light?- You'll end up blind- he said, depositing the furs on her bed.

-What? Oh yes, the other damn candle is over, I must go down for more-said Grace.  
She wore a long green dress. She had not yet grown accustomed to the men's clothingshe had worn lately. She spotted the small white shoes as flat as if she was barefoot.  
She wore the same dress on the first day he saw her.  
-Busy?- He asked.  
-Oh yeah, Benton's damn son of a bitch who has made me sign four more special permits to open the business. It gets 35%. Damn thief-she punched the table.  
-You know him, Grace- Declan said, pulling off his coat.  
-Look at this-she pointed out on the map that she spread on the table.  
-They're my land, Grace-he said-What's wrong?  
-Benton wants to inspect the mines again-Grace said, pulling up the paper and pulling it toward the burning fireplace.  
-But those mines are empty, the white man took it all at the beginning of the last century. There is no more gold there. Everybody knows it-he said, reading the map-why he does tell it to you?  
-He knows...Declan, i can feel it-said Grace looking are empty, the white man took it all at the beginning of the last century. There is no more gold there. looking out the windows, afraid.  
-And he wants you to tell me, of course-Declan said-he´s testing us, playing with us.  
-Your wife is his daughter, Declan-said Grace-for that he will want kill us.  
-Please stop with this. 

Declan´s tone hurted to Grace. She felt how miserable both were, but...

Declan sat down on the bed and watched her in silence. His mind wandered between the concern for Benton's plans and Grace's view even more worried about him. Declan hated to see her so dejected.  
-Maybe this will cheer you up- he said, spreading the skin of the white buffalo on her bed. It was like a quilt.

-Oh Declan ...-Grace put her hands to her mouth.  
-How much would you give me?  
-Will you sell the most sacrest possession of your family?-she said in a whisper.  
-Make me an offer- he said  
-A thousand dollars-she said, while he hesitated with his eyes, then she said -in gold.

 

Declan's eyebrows then went up twice, and something like a forced smile appeared in his mouth.

Grace knew they had reached an agreement.  
-Well, I'll give you more in silver for your son-she said- but that's all I have.  
-Deal done-Declan said, spitting into his hand.

He was dying to touch her, but his face was a mortuary mask. Nothing in his image could presume in what extreme of uncontrolled lust he found himself.  
His bowels were burning, since he´d entered in her house. Always was the same. Was like a ritual. A a friendly business talk, a deal, money and the love.  
He had gone there for her, he knew it very well. Grace shook her hand with a real smile.  
She wanted to withdraw her hand, but Declan did not let her.

His dark eyes turned yet in darker when the delicate candle was extinguished and lit only by the fire of the fireplace.  
-Damn it-she said, before his mouth was covered by Declan's suddenly.  
-Mmh!  
He was always attacking her all at once. In the shadows he could not distinguish her from one of her enemies.  
At times Grace feared him. To his natural rage for whites.

-Declan wait, i need give you the money-she said coming out of his embrace with difficulty. She approached his bedside table by the door. Grace opened the drawer and took out the banknote from his little safe. She had the key in his neck, with a chain.

-Here is-she said, but the figure of Declan was lit by the fire in front of her, in complete silence.  
His shirt came out of his brown trousers, his boots full of mud.  
Declan let out a long sigh of exhaustion and despair. Maybe also of denial, of something he could not avoid.  
-God is like a sentence, is not it?-She said, offering him the money. He looked her hand but did not take the money yet. 

He was a real Indian. A savage, if a single drop of white blood on his body had been diluted by the savage, long ago.

Declan approached her slowly this time, like a cat.  
Grace tried to kiss him, but he pulled his face away the first time. She stood very still yet, her hands around her own body.The Money fastened on his fingers.

Declan's hands dropped his belt that fell with a loud crash to the floor as they settled on Grace's waist and ran her thighs in an indecorous, lewd manner.  
The right hand came up, and the second went down. For several seconds she tried to get his gaze, but Declan's head was bent. Only her hot breath reached her.  
Declan then raised the green cloth quickly, and spread his legs strategically in the middle as if they were practicing a fight or survival exercise.  
Declan Harp made love to Grace as naturally as he did business, talked or had a drink together. For him was not a sin, but a need. He couldn´t stand in that land without have her. At last once time for week.  
It was the man's natural desire for a beautiful woman.  
Everything then became more natural and easy. Grace caught his face in her hands as the money fell to the floor.  
Declan's lips were lost in Grace's, separating them again and again, not touching her tongue with his own at any moment.  
Declan Harp's lips were rough as the plumage of a raven.  
Grace Emberly's lips were soft, like the silk of that dress he smeared over and over again, opening his pants.

-Not here, not here- she said, clinging to either side of the shelf on the wall at the height of her head.  
But Declan did not care.  
His strong hands lifted her and sat her on the table behind her.

-Shut up woman. 

Declan's voice was different, deformed, hoarse, loaded with a desire that would burn a forest.

Grace tried to pull back, but he caught her back twice, blocking her rest.  
What was he trying to do this time?  
Declan held his back with his right arm, while with his left held her leg that was at his waist. Then he kissed her slowly, from the center of her neck to the mouth, and there she let Grace drown in his black hair as he stepped inside to her. 

-Finally

Grace tried eaning back, lost between the pain she felt as she felt herself pierced by her great limb, and the sweet warm pleasure of her circular motions.  
-Do not move.

Now his voice sounded like a little kid´s one. It was hoarse, but thin. It was difficult to describe.

Grace tried again eaning back, but Declan repeated:

-Do not move, please.  
He was not making love to her in a natural way, but with each stroke he stood still, his white shirt stuck to his body and his head thrown back, his mouth open obscenely, and the long black lashes stuck in his big eyes.

Grace was crushed by a mountain of pleasure and uneasiness equally, but none of them was greater than her stupor at the sight of her lover prolonging the act of love.  
\- Ne mohotatse -he said with the few voice what left in him before kiss her lips and Grace grabbed his back, then let go and let him do whatever he wanted with her body.

Declan drew his knife from the air, and sliced the dress from top to bottom, carefully. Grace moaned at the sharp touch of the instrument. Then Declan kissed her belly, her breasts, her forearm, before turning her around. Their kisses were long, they awoke in Grace that primitive something she had never felt with any other man.

-Ah....  
His tongue traveled as he turned her two buttocks carefully, while he stabbed the knife on the table, and all the papers fell to the floor, also the paint pot and dinner plate.

Then Declan took her from behind, and the copulation began again. But this time it went quickly, over and over, over and over again, his limb clashing against the walls of her intimacy. There was no pity for Grace when he shed his seed, how much he was and thought he´d be forever inside her, nor did he had it with his wife, because she did not even think about her.

-You Do not scream at the end- Declan said, sweaty as if coming from a hard day's work.  
-You know I never do, Declan-Grace said, helping him to his feet. Declan tried to compose his hair. But it was an impossible tangle. They were so attached to the sweat and juices that it took them apart.  
He looked at her before doing so, and suddenly embraced her again. Like a worried brother more than a lover.

-Ne mohotatse, Grace. 

She did not say anything, just she smiled and pulled herself away from him as soon as she could. Her legs barely held her. 

-Why did you do that?  
-What, Grace? 

-Why did you make it last so long?" Damn you, you almost broke my back twice-she took her broken expencive dress. 

Declan fixed his angry eyes on her one last time.  
-Because I wanted to feel you.

Grace took the money, and kissed him in his lips.  
-Thanks for this wonderful skin-she said-now take the money, Declan. Your family need it.  
-Thanks Grace-he said-any other white person would have paid so much for the skin.  
Grace helped him pull his shirt into his pants. The pain she was feeling was not good. 

-This is not right, Declan. It´s unfair-she said thinking in his family.  
-It´s not a true betrayal to them, Grace. It´s only desire-he said-don´t blame yourself. I blame myself for you. I hate do it, but i can not avoid that. If I could help it, would you think i do it?

-We´ll die domed, Declan, someday. Both of us. 

Declan looked her one time more. She was right. Was not only desire perhaps. Maybe there was more.  
But like he had said was inevitable.  
-When i´ll see you again, Grace?  
-The next week, as you know-she said before leave.  
As Declan promised he returned home before dawn. 

-Papa! Papa!-his son welcomed to him with his soft voice. And his wife smiled to him again. Declan looked the floor, thinking in the money.  
Now he would build a house for his family, they´ll have a roof over their heads for the following winter.  
The season followed its own cycle, like the visits of Declan to Grace.


End file.
